Saturday, December 18, 2004

Had a bad night :-/

Last night....was a very stressful evening for me.  Ugh....  ok, my son is mentally delayed..challenged...whatever.  He's also very curious about anything electronic.  The VCR, any tools, etc.  So, while I was cleaning, the boys were watching a movie.  I finished up my cleaning and went into my room and saw my drawer open.  The drawer where I put the brand new digital camera.  Soooo....I went looking for Alex, and guess what he had.  The digital camera.  He had erased a bunch of pictures, and taken a bunch of his foot, his pants, the floor.  ::sigh::  The background is that Alex can be very destructive, sometimes.  He's just really really curious, I guess.  But in the past, he has broken almost every camera that we've had......or opened it and exposed all the film....  So, I got really upset and started yelling at him.  I was fuming.  I think at one point I almost started to cry.  I mean, I know having a mentally challenged son takes work and patience, but sometimes I get exhausted of keeping tabs on his every move.  The other munchkin was like 'holy crap...what did he do that he's getting screamed at....'  and I just....went off and cried.  I feel like the worlds worst mother today.  I went back later and explained why I was upset, and said I was sorry, and he said ok.  He doesn't even remember what went on last night, but I do, and I feel awful.  ::sigh::  I'm actually taking them to Chuck E Cheese because I feel so guilty..................

4 comments:

  1. GUILT... one of the main ingredients of motherhood.  And it doesn't matter whether your child is mentally challenged or not, guilt follows you to your grave.  My kids are grown and long-gone from my home, but I still think back to what I could have done better.  Join the club, but while you're at it, remember that nobody's perfect; not even moms.

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  2. The fact that you had the feeling of guilt just further proves you're a good mom.  Don't be so hard on yourself, we all flip once and awhile, well in my case daily....so toughen up, he did a bad thing and u got mad, so what!  Hang in there!

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  3. Oh Amy....... here is a hug for you woman (((AMY)))

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  4. Awe. I konw you love your kiddos. You are a dedicated mom who puts her kids first, always. It would be nice if your things could be left alone. LOL! But even kids who are not challenged don't leave stuff alone. TRUST ME! I flip out, too, and feel bad afterwards. A hug goes a long way. :) Here's one for you. (((((HUGS)))))

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