Tuesday, March 8, 2005



I......am not feeling so chipper today.  As a matter of fact, I feel pretty down.  I guess I'm just tired of hobbling around and hurting all the time. 

AND....putting an ice pack on my knee HURTS even though it takes down the swelling. 

AND...I'm tired of not wanting to take drugs, even when it hurts really bad, because of a very bad episode with some percocet.  (It SAID 1-2 tablets.  Common sense would dictate that if you're in pretty extreme pain, you would take 2, right?  yeah.  well, it doesn't say anything about your heart beating out of your chest and getting cold sweats 20 minutes after you take it, now does it?  Yeah, let's just scare the crap out of me thinking I OD'd myself on two pain pills @@) 

AND...you know what else?  I feel like I shouldn't complain anymore, because when somebody says 'How are you?', I don't want to tell the truth, which is 'same as the day before...and the day before.....not feeling good....I hurt, and I'm depressed...but enough about me.  How are you?!'  ::sigh::  I just wish things were normal.   

My eating habits are all wonky.  I just haven't been hungry at all......having to force myself to eat something.  Oh well....I guess that's a good way to lose a little of my big butt.  Maybe it works out.  I'm not that mobile anymore, so not eating as much is probably a good thing......  

I can't sleep, either.  Not sure what's up with that, because by 1 AM, I SHOULD be tired, right?!  But.......I laid there listening to noises and trying to read.  Snoring, squeaking, dog growling in his sleep, cats running around, tree branch falling on the roof, blah blah blah.......besides, being in pain all the time is exhausting, right?  So, why wouldn't I be able to sleep?!  urg......  

Sounds like one big pity party at my house, doesn't it?!  

Oh well...  tomorrow's another day.  Hopefully.


  1. We're all entitled to a pity party from time to time.  

  2. sorry you are having such a bad time of it all.  Wish I could help.  I will pray for a quick recovery for you.  Use this time to be still and know he is God. " )

    AND complain all you want in your ~J.. that is what they are here for (((HUGS)))

    Much Love,

  3. I feel so bad for you but try to look at the bright side. your breathing on your own,you have all your limbs...lol just trying to get a chuckle out of you since that dont hurt anymore. hey thats a plus! hope you feel better soon.  Linda

  4. It takes time to heal from things and as we get old it just takes long and you were hurt pretty bad. I wish I was there to come try to take your mind off of it. Im sorry. {{{{{{{{{{AMY}}}}}}}}  I just dont know what to tell you. Maybe a spa day for you would help. A hot tub they say is really good. I know you hate to complain all the time.  I feel like htat is all I do alot anymore. HEY if you wnat to im talk or just email do it. ITS OKAY TO Rant and have a pity party. It really is. Yeah the meds dont always tell you that they have some pretty wierd and scary side effects. IM just so sorry. I really wish I had some wisdome.  The ony thing I can say is we use a chiropractor and physical therapist and herbs. todd we thought was going to have to quit work a few years ago His knee swelled and arthritus. we got him on boswellia and glucosamean and that helped.  OH HONEY Im so sorry your hurting. Lori

  5. Pity parties are ok after what you went thru!!!

  6. I'm thinking what you're going through is pretty normal.  Healing (mental and physical) takes time.  Until then, gripe all you want - it's your journal, silly!!  Still praying for you.

  7. Maybe since you can't get around much, you aren't getting tired enough TO sleep at night....that happened to me after surgery a while back. I was stuck in the house and couldn't get out to do any running around OR exercise. So when bed time came around, I wasn't tired enough to fall asleep. The doctor suggested that I try Tylenol PM - two tablets worked like a charm. He said not to worry, they're non-addictive. I only used them till I was able to resume my normal life again.

    Sometimes lack of sleep can make everything worse. I hope you try it and you cheer up soon!


  8. i am so sorry that u are so down in the dumps and in so much pain...i know esactly what u are going through...u dont want to constantly talk about it to people...u dont want them to think thats all u think about...and that u are a constant whiner...thats why i try so hard not to say too much about all the pain i am in 24/7...i dont want people to stop coming to my journal because all i talk about is my pain...but i have found that our friends in j-land arent that way...they are all very supportive and understanding...so dont worry about talking about how u are doing and feeling in your journal...j-land will make u feel much better in spirit...anyway, enough of me! i hope that u are able to get some much needed rest...it really sounds like u need it...much love to u...u are in my prayers...


  9. Goood vent!! I feel pretty crappy myself, so I sympathize with you. Let's just plug along and get back to good health, OK? rich

  10. *Hug* It's OK to be depressed and hurting--Your entitled to be!  But just think of the upside--be very grateful your still here!!  

    From reading your journal you sound like an awesome woman and I know that your strong enough to over come this!  You have a lot of people who are rooting for you!


  11. Hey, having a pity party in your OWN Journal is O.K.... really! Actually, being crotchety is  sign you are getting better! My mom used to say when the patient starts complaining about being sick they are on the way to healing! Good thoughts coming your way!

  12. alilcountrycharmMarch 8, 2005 at 4:41 PM

    Oh sweetie! (((HUGS)))  you went through an awful experience and it's completely normal to feel that way! If you need to complain...then complain! Holding it in will only make you feel worse :o(   Your in my thoughts and prayers and if you want or need to talk, you know how to reach me. Feel free to IM me ANYTIME (just ignore my away messages...I'm usually right here anyway, tee hee)
    LOVE & HUGS!

  13. Hi Amy-
    I am so sorry that your feeling so badly today. I know how it feels to be in an accident and be hurting. Personally I was hit by a drunk driver 17 years ago and to have 2 back surgeries and were this "contraption" for 3 weeks----ouch! Have you though of asking your doctor for a painkiller called Vicoprofen. It's like Vicodin, but not near the side effects and it's as strong (or even stronger actually per milegram) and instead of having tylenol in it, it has advil which is great for swelling! That's what I took for my pain (when I was done taking Demoral) and it worked so well. Also something else that may help is a muscle relaxer (not Flexeril, it will knock you out!) maybe a baby dose of Valium or Xanax. These drugs are used for muscle relaxers. This would just be something to have around on days that are real bad for you.
    Wish I could Bless all your pain away Amy. And give you a gentle, but big hug!

    Get well soon and I'm thinking of you,

  14. I'm sorry you're still feeling so bad.  And you shouldn't have to keep it in... don't put on the brave face to make people feel better : )  
    I hope you get back to normal soon, though... for you... so that you can sleep and eat and not be depressed.  I hear ya about the pain pills.  I won't take them.... I hate the way they make me feel.  
    Hugs to you,

  15. Girl, it sounds like you need a nice relaxing bath before bed!  I wish you had some of my extra special bath brew, but really any bath salts would do...you could buy some nice smelling ones, or even use plain old Epsom salts.  

    Take care; things will get better.


  16. hope you are feeling better soon :(

  17. Awww AMY! I can so relate as you know .. but its ok to not feel all that great, it's ok to let it all out .. im here for ya if ya need an ear to listen.. anytime. I hope that you feel better and I can empathize with ya on the prescription.. doctors have a  way of giving you something but they fail to mention the risks.. sometimes.. but not that all doctors are bad either.. as yeah its rough when youve been around the block and nobody helps..
    I just hope you get to feeling better really soon.. Perks as i call them are not my fav.. either when it comes to pain.. especially with heart rate concerned... youmight be better off with something like tylenol codeine.. call and ask them for that.. then at least you can sleep.. and feel better.. it wont make ya race... ;)

    Miss M*


  18. hope you feel better soon :)...........Jules xxxxxxx

  19. awww i'm sorry your feeling so bad,sad,sore and bummed.....but everyone is allowed...I hope you feel better soon....ever need to talk just e-mail me. I'll be here to listen.....God Bless You...


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