Friday, May 20, 2005

Entitlement

   

I notice something about people......mainly the one I have contact with, because you know.....I don't know about people I don't know.  What?  Yeah...anyway.  Entitlement.  People have a sense of entitlement.  The 'YOU owe ME ____ because *I* want it'.  I think to myself...what do I really owe people?  Do I owe anyone anything?  I'm just ::ahem::  waxing philosophical here.  (You like that, Joe?  I snagged your phrase...hee...)  Does anyone else feel that way?  Like people expect things from you that you just don't feel a need to do?  I understand the whole 'doing things because YOU want to' but when you let people guilt/bully you into doing things you don't want to do, you lose self....but how do you get it back?  Do you stand up to that person?  Do you.....ignore it?  Do you.....  what?!  I'm just thinking out loud today......comments and emails most welcome.  Holy crimeny, I need to get me a therapist, no?  Hmm...but whyyyyyy when I have all of my fabulous internet friends, no?  Hee....

15 comments:

  1. I absolutely know what you mean.  My in-laws (almost ex-in-laws...would that make them ex-laws?? HMM??) are like that.  Not my mother-in-law's side, but the FIL..oh yeah.  Like you should do anything they want you to just for the priviledge of being of service to them.  *AHEM*  Sorry...no.  And one thing I HATE, is when people try to guilt me into things.  Being manipulated via guilt is one thing sure to make me turn on someone like that wolf everybody thought was tame til it ate someone...y'know?  Sorry for rambling here, and yeah, I still desperately need to sleep.  LOL!  

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  2. Yeah you dont need no therapist we are all our j land therapists lOL I was just talking to MOM
    My grandmother whom I take care and Todd who is not her grandson does things for her several times a week My dad does the mowing most tmes he is 70 and my girls help out and so do we. Okay we do all the work and several years ago my aunt got her to sign over power of attorney. Now she is  a person who fought me last year getting home health in to helpa nd home healt saw my aunt be mean to my granny. They dont like her but my granny is not far gone mentally enough for a judge to take over so they say the see it all the time greedy family wins!!!!!!!My aunt will give it all to her sons (grannys grandsons) who do nothing for her. Her other grandson and daughter do nothing for her. But Granny keeps wanting us to do things Like Hints at Todd painting her car for free the clear coat is peeling a little and she wants us to put down pergo. Now shes 86 failing health and I just cant see us putting in work on something that will profit the robbers who have control. I mean its not like I want something but we do things fix things do errands help clean vacume fix her vacume nad weed eater and do all kinds of things I was the ONLY one who fought to get her money back when her pills were stole at the hospital. I mean What do I owe her I feel bad feeling this way. But her carpet is almost new anyway. Her car well its not bad just not looking so pretty but its an 92 toyota. GOOD grief. I feel guilty!!!!!!!!!

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  3. alilcountrycharmMay 20, 2005 at 3:26 PM

    Well, here's my oh so humble opinion...lmao...ready? I am constantly doing things and providing "favors"  for people (mostly family). I don't always want to, but I do it anyhow because I am NEEDED and they are IN NEED. I mean c'mon, let's face it...we are only human and when we are (constantly) doing nice things and favors for people,  we do at some point, expect to have that generousity returned to us when reach our point of need. Correct? I have given and given and given some more, then when I reach my point of needing help all i get is lame excuses or broken promises. So yeah, I guess I do feel like I am "owed" lol. And if I continue to do things that later show to be unappreciative by those people, I no longer do anything for them. I don't like to be used. Fool me once, shame on you....fool me twice, shame on me. my granny says that all the time ;o)

    (((HUGS)))
    Angel

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  4. This entry is almost funny if it weren't so goldarn true!!!!  I have someone in our family that I did not want to move back to Alabama because of.  She tried to dominate me and my time.  Always wanted me to go off and do things with her, but the invitation never included my kids, who were a bit younger than they are now, and very good kids, btw.  Her son is grown and in the Navy.  My son is grown now, but was not at the time.  I moved to get away from her.  Of course, there were other reasons also, but she was a large part of it.  

    Also had some friends of my Mom's that I felt like were users.  I kept their son when I had my daycare, mainly for free.  It always ticked me off that they could buy their booze and alcohol, but never pay me.  Needless to say, I stood up to them only after they had a daughter, and they did the same thing with not wanting to pay me on a regular basis, but leaving E until all hours.  I finally told them I could not keep her anymore.  Needless to say, we are estranged from them today and they only live four or five doors down from us.

    http://journals.aol.com/Smjr43/Colorado

    So what is the moral of this story?  Some people are users and they will use you until there is nothing left of you.  STAND UP FOR YERSELF, GIRL!!!!!!!! :)

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  5. P.S.  Meant booze and cigarettes in last entry instead of booze and alcohol.  CJ had a very bad dream last night and it took me several hours to get her calmed down enough to go back to sleep.  Sorry.

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  6. alilcountrycharmMay 20, 2005 at 3:48 PM

    So what is the moral of this story?  Some people are users and they will use you until there is nothing left of you.  STAND UP FOR YERSELF, GIRL!!!!!!!! :)



    WOO HOO SUSAN! You sure got that right!! Couldn't have said better myself  ;o)

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  7. I live my life doing for others, doing things I don't want to do, but this is the path I chose, no sense in whining about it now, right?  Wait, I'm a woman, I can whine all I want!

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  8. I stand strong now and will only do what I have to, if I dont want to I have learnt to say NO, ........Jules xxxxxxx
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/

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  9. Yes, I agree.  Great entry!  I don't think we should go thru life doing things that are "expected" and especially if they bring us unhappiness or tax my remaining strength meant for taking care of what is most important.  My family and their needs is my first concern.  And now I'm not really a "new" mom anymore I have to learn to steal some time for me and not feel guilty about it or bullied by the kids or begged to death into what the kids want all the time.  I tend to keep everyone else at a distance because we all have precious little time.  
    Hugs,
    Lisa, Slow Learner

    http://journals.aol.com/randlprysock/AdventuresFromFlorida/    

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  10. Our President is a major a-hole bully!  His attitude of "Love me or you're against America" is a perfect example of what you're talking about --- at least in the brain of this proud Liberal!  ;)     Russ

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  11. hee hee.. we are a lot cheaper than a therapist...

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  12. There will always be way too many takers!  It is up to people like me to put my foot down and say, "You're not going to use me up, then throw me away and be on your merry way hunting for the next giver that will allow you to drain HER dry.

    I'm not going to be taken advantage of . . .

    I can:  JUST SAY, "NO!!!" WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!  

    I JUST NEED TO BE ASCERTIVE, NOT MEAN AND ASCERTIVE!!!  lol

    http://journals.aol.com/cyndygee/TheRealWorldofcyndygee

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  13. I think we all do at some point

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  14. Well, I guess you're "entitled" to your opinion!!! LOL rich

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  15. hestiahomeschoolMay 22, 2005 at 12:56 PM

    I think learning how to say no nicely is the hardest thing I have ever done. Especially with being home full time, people tend to think I have all this spare time...huh?  I homeschool, do animal rescue, try to take care of my house...no, I can't pick up your second cousin once removed at the airport, no, I can't clean your flooded basement for you...
    http://journals.aol.com/hestiahomeschool/HomeschoolingJournal

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Talk to me, people! Otherwise, I'm just talking to myself....