Last night was not unlike any other night. Well, except for that one thing... or maybe two things.
The funny part was, me and Jesse had both agreed we were going to bed early. Early for us is before 12, I guess.
Anyway, there I was on the computer...and all of the sudden I hear a scuffle and then "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DOG JUST DID?!?!?!!?!" First of all...why is it suddenly MY dog? Was *I* the one obsessed with getting a Golden? I think not. I digress, though. Gordo came flying into the computer room and dove under the desk at my feet. Jesse was in hot pursuit of said dog.
Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.....I should have started with: Jesse brought home dinner last night. 2 pizzas for the kids and Chinese for us. The kids finished one pizza and then took off for parts unknown (aka the bedrooms). Jesse went off to...do...something. That left me at the table. I put away the takeout boxes, but left the pizza in the middle of the table, because as soon as I put it away, somebody would come into the kitchen, unable to open the refriegerator themselves, and ask me to get them a slice of pizza. I figured I would give them about 30 minutes before I wrapped everything up and put it away. Seems reasonable, doesn't it?
OK, so now back to where the dog dives under the desk with Jesse right behind him. Somebody got in trouble last night, and it wasn't me and it wasn't Jesse. Considering I've only been talking about me, Jesse, and the dog...... yeah....the dog. "MY" dog. MY dog...who put his big ass paws up on the table, AFTER he had eaten his own dinner, after we all left the table.....and ate AN ENTIRE LARGE PIZZA!
As you might guess, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for him while he's looking at me with the pitiful face as he's having diarrhea.
Oh...and let's add to the excitement, shall we?! After that drama, Ryan asked me to send her some cool fonts from my computer to hers. 'Sure', I said. What's a mother for, anyway, right? La de da, there I am sending her fonts......and my computer signs off with a 'Your account has been closed for bulk mailing. Please call yada yada yada....' What. The. (oh, you know what I said...let's not play innocent, ok?! LOL) Of course, the primary person who receives the bill (Jesse) is the one who has to call and 'fix it'. Now, I'm on the White List, because I'm in some AOL groups. I can send large amounts of mail. We've already established that I can do this and AOL deems me acceptable. So. After Jesse yaks it up with Achmedulla (or 'John' - whichever is easier for you...), I get my accounts back and have to reset everyones' passwords. <insert ongoing eyeroll here>
Jesse mentions to me that our digital phone is fuzzing in and out. 'Oh, yeah', I say 'it's been like that for 2 weeks now.....every day at various times, I have no phone and no internet.....and when I do finally get it back, I've got a fuzzy connection.' Jesse sighs....and calls BrightHouse Networks. He warns them that the phone is fuzzing out and to please not hang up on him. He explains the problem. What would normally be a 5 minute phone call has tuned into a 15 minute phone call. The person at BrightHouse tells him they can get someone out to our house to check out our problems on August 5th. August 5th? Nevermind that I might have any kind of emergency....August 5th. OMFG. But, what are you gonna do? Say no? so, we took the August 5th date.
Jesse hangs up the phone. Looks at me, looks at the clock, looks at me.....12:45.
I'm thinking we should change our idea of 'early' to 2 AM. Yeah...that'll work.....