Wednesday, February 15, 2006

What EXACTLY is excessive consumption?

So.  Valentines Day was yesterday....and Jesse came home early bearing gifts of (sugar free) chocolates and (sugar free) Twizzlers.  Yay, sez me.  He also brought me a cute lil mini rose bush.  Not sure how he thought I was going to keep it alive since I have been known to kill every plant in a mile radius, but still....bless his heart.  I had told him he better not get all crazy about it because if y'all remember...last years' Valentines Day was......really really not good.  What suckage that I always have that memory on what's supposed to be a romantic day. 

ANYWAY...........the SIL emailed me to wish me a Happy Valentines Day and asked how it was.....so I emailed her back and then decided I had to share my day with y'all as well....

First,  one of  Jesse's friends called us to make sure we were NOT going out anywhere because last year's attempt at going out was.....um...bad.  (Doesn't seem like it was a year ago I was in the hospital, does it?)

So anyway, he tried....he brought me the little rose bush (omg, how am I going to keep this thing alive)  and some sugar free chocolates.....  So I was there eating and eating chocolates (since we have been on a diet, I don't get to eat chocolate much) and I'm looking at the package while I"m eating and eating and in teeny tiny itty bitty print, it says "Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect in some people."   WHAT??!!?  What's 'excessive'??!!?!?  What do they mean!?!?!  So, I put the chocolate down thinking ok.....I had enough...it won't affect me.  Well.  I was wrong.  It did.  So the lesson of the day is to read the label and not overeat sugar free chocolates on Valentines Day unless you don't mind hanging out alone in the bathroom.  

He wrote me an email while I was ....'busy'... ---> 

"Im sorry I gave you diahrea.  I was the one who gave you the damn chocolates.  They should put that shit in bigger writing."    

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...poor guy

Anyway......after the 6th time of me coming out of the bathroom (hey, Lisa....one bathroom!  Can you imagine?  omg...)  I looked at Jesse and said 'So, baby.....it's Valentines Day'  *wink wink*  LOLLLLLLLLLLL he was laughing so hard, he was crying....  

Heeeee...what a day.....          

11 comments:

  1. sorry IM laughing at your umm loss of pooey control (we call it pooey around here cause of the dogs and all lol and honeys pooey kisses she gives since she eats it all the time!!!!!!!!!) but tis funny and maybe you should not celebrate valentines day lol dont seem to be working for ya lol maybe celebrate lvoe your dog day !!!!!!!!! its this week lol oh my gosh. can you see it now doggie penaut butter bones and all um wait........... wonder what that cuases I bet that is why dogs bark!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excessive I guess would be one less that makes you go to the bathroom.  ~ Mike

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can't top Mike's comment....I won't even try.  I'm laughing WITH you, babycakes!!  xo, Russ

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL   poor Amy!
    Becky

    ReplyDelete
  5. I apologize for rolling laughing.  Can I say I am laughing WITH you?  ::wink::  As for me, I put in 11 hours yesterday.  Hubby wanted to take me and the daughter out for supper, but I could not stop working long enough.  Boss is very strict.  Okay for her to meet her sis at a restaurant for supper, but me?  I had to work. ::sigh::

    Blessings!~
    Suse

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is some great Valentine's Day comedy!

    I bet those chocolates are made with Sorbitol.  It's an artificial sweetener, but it's also used as a laxative.  What were they thinkin'???  Mark won't go near anything sugar free because he's worried it'll give him the---well, you know.

    While we're on the subject, you might also want to stay away from the low-fat blueberry muffins at Starbucks (for the same reason).  Hee hee...don't ask whose personal experience prompted that advice.  ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Also, don't ask about fat-free Doritos.  Yeah, I tried them once while dieting.  I was sick for an entire day.  I'm a fat chick, so I saw "fat-free" and thought "WoooHooo!  I can eat all I want."  The tiny print on the bag warned of....are you ready?....anal leakage.  EEEWWWWWWWWW"

    ReplyDelete
  8. lol how cute, I think I can eat at least a few bags of those sugar free candies.  Sounds like you had a good time though.

    ReplyDelete
  9. HAHAHAHA!  I bet even your bathroom sessions couldn't keep his loving hands off of you!

    MEN!

    See, now if I would have given Bill the chocolates and he had the runs, I wouldn't feel bad...am I a bad person?  Sorry, I would laugh my bottom off!

    ~V~

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can't believe this...LOL this has to be one of the funniest...I'm sorry if I'm laughing but it's good.  Hope your feeling better by now.  :)
    Michele

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG!  You poor thing!!!  I remember when Bethany was little I was letting her chew sugar free gum and she would always have the runs.  I didn't understand why until the doc told me I would be better off letting her chew gum with sugar, but only a few pieces per day, rather than the sugarfree because of the wonderful fake sugar they put in and what happens to your bowels when you do eat too much of it.  I learned my lesson then and wish I had known about your sugar free chocolate.  I would have warned you!  LOL!
    Hugs and love,
    Lisa
    P.S.:  Maybe you lost 5 pounds so it's not a bad thing right?  ;)

    ReplyDelete

Talk to me, people! Otherwise, I'm just talking to myself....