So, I says to Susan.....I says 'Hey Suse....I've got a crazy evangelical neighbor stalking me. You think it'd be too much to put on my devil horn and get out my cauldron and act all weird in the front yard when she walks by? '
::pause:: OK, so I've been reading one too many Mafia books lately. Anyway, it's true. I've got my share of crazy neighbors. The neighbor who I'm referring to in the first paragraph there has told us about the aliens that landed in her back yard....and she keeps wanting to share the Word Of The Lord with us.....AND, her latest.....she has taken it upon herself to organize who will be paired with whom in a neighborhood buddy program if there is ever a need to evacuate because of terrorists or some such. Clearly she knows something I don't. Which one of our neighbors is involved in questionable activities?! G'head, ask her. She'll tell you. It must be those people who recently moved in and don't speak much English. <insert eyeroll at your leisure>
ANYWAY, she can kiss my ever-expanding white tookus if she thinks she is the Boss of the Neighborhood. I know who I want to be paired with in some kind of disaster, and it ain't the crotchety neighbor across the street. A shirtless Justin Timberlake, maybe....
So, I've purchased a lovely pentacle suncatcher to hang on my front door. A lovely brass 'No Soliciting' sign will soon adorn my door as well.
Gyahh.....I'm thinking of putting up an 'I am Evil, Fear Me.' sign too. Or maybe just 'Go Away.' Or 'I am Evil, Fear Me AND Go Away'?? Fear me AS you go away? Hmm...needs work.
I've embraced my inner darkness. Or maybe I'm just a troublemaker. Eh... either way, it makes for a decent journal entry.