Friday, January 12, 2007

a little blue...okay, alot blue

I....am feeling incredibly sad today.

Jesse went on his 2 week Reserves duty this morning and I can't stop crying.  Odd, really....we do this every year, sometimes twice a year and I usually feel a little bummed, but nothing like this.  I feel like my heart has been ripped out.  I could barely talk to him on the phone without breaking down.

Stress, I guess, with moving, being crammed in at my moms so long, and what-have-you....but trying not to cry in front of the kids is giving me a headache.  Trying not to cry in front of my mom and put on the happy face is giving me a headache too.  I just don't want to deal with the 'Oh, you should get out and forget about it....' because I don't want to get out and forget about it.  I want my husband back.  Now.

I'm not liking life lately.

 

 

18 comments:

  1. With all you are dealing with right now, this is a big deal even if it is something that happens for two weeks every year. And having to keep up the happy face adds to the stress. That really sucks, Amy. When Keith was in Egypt last year, Holly told me to go out and buy extra pillows for the bed because night was hard on me. For some reason, that helped a bit.
    If you lived near me, I'd give you a spot to cry.
    :( Cin

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  2. Sorry Amy.  Don't you think it's partly because of this time of year?  I'm sure not my chipper self during the bleak winter months.  Take it one day at a time.

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  3. Awwwwwww Amy, I'm sorry you are sad, sending some hugs your way, Lisa

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  4. I hope this 2 weeks flys by for you.

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  5. OH amy I wish I was there I d come over and we have some wine and get someting done even if crying was it. I cried all morning but it was a berating from my mom abut what a terrible mom I have been all my life and how I have abused my kids and mistreated them by not letting them have a life!!!!!!!! It ended with her yelling for five mins not letting me get a word in edge wise and hanging up on me. In a few mins we are having Tracys b day party and MOM IS SUPPOSE TO COME. that will be streassful either way. So we could use a maragrita from my mexican resturant!!!!!!!!! AMY BABES I LOVE YOU> CALL ME...........
    I mean it you really can I know I sent my number before but if not ask and I ll email it to you

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  6. It's that blah time of the year as well. Did you say hubby will be back in 2 weeks'?

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  7. awwwww....I am sorry..I have a big old shoulder you can come cry on!!
    Becky

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  8. The two weeks will fly by!  I'll be sending you some good vibes, Sweetie!!

    xo,
    Russ

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  9. (((((hugz))))))) I'm sorry :(  It will be ok even tho it doesn't or didn't feel like it at the time.  Not saying I understand because I'm not you, I just know what I would feel like if it were Cindy.  Blessings..Teresa

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  10. Hey! You've been thru a lot of upheaval lately!! Of course you want Jesse not to be gone. {{Hugs}}

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  11. :o(
    Awww poor amywamy

    You should come over here and look after me for two weeks then.
    I need someone to wash my feet and rub my belly :o)

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  12. I'm so sorry you are so sad. I'll pray that the time goes by fast but yes moving and being cramped does not help.

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  13. Amy, you just go on and cry all you want.  When Edwin goes on his business trips, I always cry.  I feel empty, horrid as though a piece of me has been ripped out.  There's nothing wrong with your family seeing you grieve for the absence of your husband.  You're human and you love someone that you are away from.  Of course you feel this way!  I totally understand and sympathize!  Blessed be!

    Love,
    Susie
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/susanebunn/ItAllStartsAfter50/

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  14. I can remember when I used to feel sad when my ex husband used to go away on scheme.  He was in the Military and the longest he went away was to Croatia once for a whole year.  I used to cry, and then after awhile I used to be glad when he went away and cry when he came home!  Believe me, it's much better feeling sad when they go away, coz the alternative is really unbearable.  I'd miss my Todd if he had to go away too.  Sopunds like you've been through alot lately.  {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}  Hope the time goes quickly for you and before you know it you and Jesse are back together again.
    Marie
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/mariealicejoan/MariesMuses/

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  15. I'm sorry to hear that your feeling blue...but I know my Brother is feeling awful too.  Chuy loves you and you are the most important part of his life!  Hang in there...remember you are surrounded by the most precious treasure you and my Brother created...My niece and newphews.  Drink a huge cup of Irish Coffee and you won't be crying...you'll be giggling.  But don't tell Chuy...because he will blame me for making you an alcoholic. LOL

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  16. ::peeking in::: 'u ok?

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  17. oH, i WISH i COULD GIVE YOU A BIG HUG.  

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  18. I always hate it when Donnie is away, so I can so empathize with ya.  I do know from experience that moving is VERY stressful.  I would give anything to still be living in my house in Broomfield, CO.  I dream about that house usually at least 3-4 times a week.  That is where I was the happiest.

    Hope you are feeling better.  Sorry I am so late getting to your journal.  Yours is always one of the first I catch up on.  :-)

    Hang in there, Amy Lou!  It'll get better.

    Love ya!~

    Suse

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