Monday, March 21, 2011

Ebony & Ivory....

Before I start this post, I should say I'm not even remotely racial.....and I'll mess with anybody.  Everybody is fair game to me.....because I don't say anything with malicious intent.  That being said.....y'all know I'm white.  Y'all know Jesse is Mexican....and that San Antonio is predominantly Hispanic.

and so this post begins....

Jesse is a cautious consumer. He researches everyyyyything. He's gotta get the best price and all that jazz. He called around to quite a few places to get the best price for my moms' cremation. After 2 days of intense searching, he found a place that did everything for about $800. We had to show up there to sign paperwork. It was downtown, which here in San Antonio, can be questionable. As we pull in the parking lot, there's a white 50s style hearse. ooooookay. We walked in, and this younger black lady comes out of the reception office. We tell her we have a 3:00 appt, and she says ok and leads us to a waiting room. As we pass the conference room, we pass 8 black women who stop all their talking and look at us. ooooookay. We sit down on the sofa in the waiting room, and I look up at the art work as one usually does. "Oh....a little black girl writing a story.....awww....". My eye travels to the right....."Oh...a tribal woman carrying her baby on hr back....awww....". A little more to the right..."IS THAT A BLACK JESUS WEARING A CROWN OF THORNS?! WHAT THE.......ARE YOU SERIOUS, JESSE?!?!?!" Then a black guy comes through and tells us the director will be with us shortly. I smile and say 'okay...' and then look at Jesse and shake my head. THENNNNN we start smelling something that is just not right. I hear somebody says that so-n-so is warming up their lunch. Good god....wth are they eating?! Pickled pig feet?!  (<--and I've eaten those before!) The director (also black.....are we seeing a theme here?) comes and gets us and does the paperwork for us. All the while, I can see my idiot husband trying not to laugh like a damn fool. We finally leave and I'm just quietly shaking my head in the car and Jesse says "Your mom is going to haunt me for the rest of my life." I said "Nah....she likes black people, although, she probably would've been happier to have a Fillipino funeral home...." "Oh yeah..." he says. "Wasn't she into that one black guy at her work?" I said "Okay, this conversation is getting awkward and you are trying to divert the conversation from the fact that we are in the ghetto, where my mother is going to be dropped off. Those people are going to open her transport bag and be like 'WHAT?! That's a WHITE woman! Did we get the wrong person?!' and then they're going to take her back and she'll be laying there in the morgue for all eternity!" Jesse says "....and you're saying I'm the dramatic one?"


  1. Amy, you do make me smile. ((((hugs))))

  2. oh AMY my ........... what day you had. but the way you tell it. ........ I can just see this.......... I bet your mom was laughing at YOU! LOL

  3. One of the best things about having a spouse is, we don't have to be politically correct all the time with one another.

  4. That was one day you did not see coming! I had to laugh, then wondered if that was disrespectful, then laughed anyway.
    Thanks for the story Amy.

  5. Wowwwwwwww ... sounds like that came right out of a dark comedy. Have always loved your sense of humor. Prop to Jessie for not cracking up. Pretty sure I would have failed miserably!


Talk to me, people! Otherwise, I'm just talking to myself....